Greetings from J-List April 4, 2003

Hello from Japan, where the Mazda Miyata is known as the Mazda Roadster, but through unlucky phonetic accident, 99% of Japanese think it's called "Road Star."

Japan is a great place to live, although it's very different from the U.S. Certain concepts that are taken for granted around the world don't really function here. One is the concept that the house you live in has value and the value goes up over time. In Japan, land has value, and if you buy land that has a house on it already, you nearly always tear it down a build a new one -- who would want to live in a "used" house? Getting my Japanese wife to believe that our house in San Diego would go up in value and was an investment for the future was a real challenge. The movement of prices is also quite different in Japan compared with in the U.S. Japan has always been a country that operated on the odd economical principal that "the inflation rate is low, but the prices are high to begin with." True enough, for most of the past twelve years, I haven't witnessed prices going up for anything at all -- and with the beginning of Japan's deflationary problems about three years ago, the prices from many items from Internet access to sushi to beef bowl are actually going down.

For one reason or another, some phrases in English have burned themselves on the collective consciousness of the Japanese, and are quite famous here. If you want to show your knowledge of Japan, pull out one of these phrases and watch the eyes of Japanese go wide with surprise. When an American named Dr. Clark (universally known as "Clark-hakase" HA-KA-say) went to Sapporo to help establish what would become Sapporo University, he left behind the following advice to his Japanese hosts: "Boys, be ambitious!" (i.e., strive to achieve excellence in all that you do). These three words are studied by all Japanese, and somehow manage to pop up all over the place in one form or another -- there's even a manga series called "Boys Be..." that is based on this phrase. When pop singer Momoe Yamaguchi retired from singing, she sang a tearful song to her fans that went "Thank you for your kindness...thank you for your tenderness" and as a result, virtually all Japanese over 30 know this famous phrase. Famous speeches by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Abraham Lincoln ("Government for the people, by the people, and of the people") are studied in school the same way we study Shakespeare in the U.S., too.

At J-List we've enjoyed great success thanks to the support of our wonderful customers like you -- thank you! Sadly, not all the companies we do business with in Japan are so blessed, and sometimes distributors we buy products from go bankrupt. Mitsuboshi, a large toy distributor in Tokyo with over 100 employees, sent us a fax yesterday announcing that they were ceasing business operations. They'd fallen on hard times ever since Toys "R" Us entered Japan in the 1990's, turning the Japanese toy business on its ear, and were also hurt by their old-style business practices, which were fine for the 1970's but hardly suitable for the 21st century. We hope the employees of the company are successful at finding new jobs.

Our special $1 shipping sale on T-shirts is proving extremely popular with customers, and we've sold more T-shirts in a few days than we usually sell in a week. We've got two new designs for you -- a wacky shirt capturing the uniquely Japanese Emergency Exit sign, and another with a great slogan of "Baka Gaijin" (stupid foreigner). Also, a stylish new color is in stock for fans of our newly posted "Beware of Perverts" shirt, too. Don't forget, buy 3 or more and get 10% off too! We hope you love the fresh and wacky T-shirts we've got for you.

For the new update, we've got some excellent products from Japan for you. They include:

• We love the miniature toys from Japan that are so popular -- and we've got a great set of six authentic Japanese trains rendered in great detail, and all pre-painted -- and full sets of this great series are in stock and available for you to buy!
  
• The sushi and Chinese food miniatures we posted on Wednesday proved very popular -- we've added stock of the Chinese food sets today, and more sushi are on their way (you can order the full set if you like and we'll send it to you when they come back in stock)
  
• Also, fresh stock of two popular items in the same series: delicious Japanese desserts and family restaurant dishes!
  
• For fans of Japanese snacks and food, we've got some great items, including ebisen shrimp crackers, Astro Boy boil-in-bag curry, and more
  
• Also, for fans of delicious and healthy miso soup, we've got miso in stock, both Tokyo and Osaka style
  
• For Hello Kitty and Sanrio fans, enjoy a fun package of character candy, almost too cute to eat, as well as a cool Kitty Photo Frame Magnet in stock
  
• We love Totoro and Sun Arrow's line of licensed high-quality Studio Ghibli toys -- see two new plushes in stock, from Totoro and Spirited Away
  
• Also, look for fresh stock of the popular Studio Ghibli music boxes, including the Kodama from Princess Mononoke
  
• We've got some cool anime cards sold only in Japan, too, including Tokyo Mew Mew and Inuyasha
  
• For fans of Shirow Masamune's new Ghost in the Shell anime series, we've got vol. 4 in stock with you, featuring the 7th and 8th episodes of this incredibly popular animation (region 2)
  
• Also, we've restocked the popular high-end designed computer mice by Shirow Masamune and Hajime Katoki -- check them out
  
• We've gotten in two nice bento boxes that are of large size and good for hungry eaters, and come complete with chopsticks
  
• Also, for fans of our traditional Japanese items, we've got a traditional tray and two miso bowls in stock for you
  
• We've got fresh stock of cool portable ashtrays for those who smoke but want to protect nature
  
• Finally, look for cute keychains for Paddington fans, delicious Mill Make chocolate milk mix that's a favorite of Japanese school children, authentic Japanese chopsticks, and more!
  

For our adult customers, we've got many new 18+ products. They include:

• First, we've got some great Japanese adult magazines for you including the new Gal's Dee, just loaded with beautiful and busty Japanese AV stars like Cocolo and Honey Morimura and Mai Haruna
  
• Also, the new issue of Bjam, a super amateur magazine featuring real kogals picked up off the street and taken to love hotels
  
• The new issue of Bachelor is in, for fans of really busty women from Russia, Eastern Europe, America and Japan -- this is a special Yulia Nova pin-up issue!
  
• Also, a new issue of Anal Shower, a great gouka-bon format photobook featuring some lovely anal girls
  
• For fans of Japanese photobooks, we've got some great items, including the sweet nude of Akiho Yoshizawa and a bizarre and fun leg fetish S&M photobook
  
• For hentai manga collectors, enjoy the new volumes we've got for you today, including Mamoru Hayakawa's "Lecherous Noble Lady" and the very erotic "Shake" by Mujin Comics
  
• Also look for fresh stock of many manga volumes, including the Pururun Seminar series!
  
• Also, we've stocked some new doujinshi for you, recently released volumes, although stock is very limited!
  
• For DVD fans, we've got some great items for you, starting with a great Azumi Kawashima re-release DVD at a "thanks price" (region free)
  
• For fans of the popular European Girls adult DVDs, we've got a super new one, Japanese men vs. beautiful Berlin Girls of Germany -- they will knock your socks off! (region free)
  
• For fans of the sultry Ran Asakawa, enjoy super erotic performances in authentic fuzoku (soaplands) in Tokyo (region free)
  
• There are thousands of beautiful girls dying to break into the professional AV world, and in a new SOD project, you can see how far they're willing to go in the SOD AV idol job interviews (region free)
  
• The Black Semen series from Moodyz, which pits beautiful Japanese girls against a room full of big black guys from Los Angeles, continues, this time featuring the lovely Kirari Koizumi as the lovely target (region 2)
  
• See the double lesbian kogals Reiko Kikuchi and Ria Nanase in an incredible slutty performance that shows some of the great innovation of Japan's indies studios (region 2)
  
• Finally, we've got a great restocking of popular DVDs for you, including Oshiri Factory, Let's Lesbian vol. 2, Kuru Milk 2003, the new Sperm Lesbian, and the oh-so-popular Testicles Kick of Amateur Girls, for fans of the Japanese ball-kicking fetish known as tamekeri!
  

Don't forget that J-List has a super sale right now for fans of DVDs from Japan: buy 4 or more DVD titles, and get 15% off! Since J-List has hundreds of fabulous titles in stock -- would you believe we've got over 700 different DVDs? -- we know there are some great items waiting for you to find them. The 15% sale covers *all* the great DVDs we stock!

Remember that J-List carries authentic Japanese "loose socks" in two different sizes, and also carries "socks glue" which you can use to glue your socks to your legs to hold them up. Worn by virtually all Japanese high school girls (except those who go to strict schools where they are forbidden), they are similar to the leg warmers worn in the 1980s in the U.S., and look great when bunched up just so. Enjoy a little slice of Japanese fashion culture courtesy of J-List -- they also go great with the authentic high school uniforms we sell, too! Great for cosplay at anime cons.

Greetings from J-List April 2, 2003

Hello from Japan, where a corn dog is known universally as an "American Dog."

For a country that loves English enough to make cars named Mazda Bongo Friendy and Mitsubishi Bravo Exceed and Nissan Sunny, you'd think there'd be a lot of English in use here. Well, outside of people who happen to work alongside foreigners in special jobs (like the Japanese staff of J-List), there isn't any more English in daily use in Japan than there is French in the U.S. Although every can of beer and canned coffee has a decorative English description on it -- "Sapporo beer is made from the finest hops for a delicious taste and refinement" -- you'd be surprised how easy it is to find yourself standing on a train platform in rural Japan with not a single sign in English telling you which train to get on. Since I read Japanese, I tend not to notice it that much, but whenever I've got friends from the U.S. out for a visit, I realize how difficult little things like getting around the country can be. The Japanese do their best to promote "internationalization" but it can be a tall order for them, especially as you move away from cities like Tokyo.

To successfully study a language, one thing you need to do beyond learning the grammar and vocabulary is to craft overall strategies for communication, even if it means using hand gestures or drawing pictures to show meaning. One strategy for communication that's used by Japanese when speaking English (and by me at times, in Japanese), is the non sequitur, a reply that can be used as a response to just about any question, whether you understood it or not. Back in my bachelor days, I went to a live orchestra performance and was surprised to hear that the organizers had "randomly" chosen three people from the audience to get up and conduct the orchestra: a cute old woman, a little girl, and funny American, namely me. I got up on the conductors podium, trying to ignore the hundreds of people with their eyes focused on me, and lead the Maebashi Philharmonic Orchestra in the first few bars of Beethoven's 5th. I only got a little ways into the music, because my total lack of timing caused the musicians to ground to a halt soon after they started. When I was done, the MC asked me some questions about where I was from, how I liked my first time conducting an orchestra, and...something else, that I didn't happen to catch. Rather than embarrass myself in front of so many people by asking the MC to repeat herself, I gave her an answer that would fit just about anywhere in Japanese: "So desu ne" (literally "Yes, that's is so"). I hope I fooled her.

Cellular phones are ubiquitous in Japan, with people from all walks of life from elementary school students to the elderly carrying them. Japanese phones are quite advanced and cool to look at, and virtually all have full color screens. NTT DoCoMo and competing companies let you surf the web (or a subset of the web, at least) with your phone, and download Java-based applications like virtual idols and even dating-sim games to your phone. Phones can be programmed to replace your TV remote control, and phones with cameras and MP3 players built into them are quite common (some even record short MPEG-4 movies). Another up-and-coming application for phones is an alarm clock feature that gently wakes you up with natural sounds that crate alpha waves in your brain as you wake up. The 3G wars are heating up in Japan as well, with NTT's home-grown FOMA phone system going head to head against KDDI's system that's based on Qualcomm's CDMA. I personally prefer the CDMA phones, as they function as 3G phones near cities and as standard cellular phones when you're out of the 3G area.

We're proud and happy at the cult status our funny Japanese T-shirts, with messages like "Looking for a Japanese Girlfriend," have attained. This month, we're offering a special $1 shipping sale, with shipping on all T-shirts to the U.S./Canada just $1 per shirt. (International customers pay just $3 per shirt.) This is a wonderful opportunity to get a whole bunch of our bizarre Japanese T-shirts and save a bunch of money on the shipping -- they make great gifts, too. All our shirts are 100% cotton quality T-shirts that are full U.S. sizes, and all are printed in the USA. If you're unsure about your size, you can click the "T-shirt sizes" link below each shirt description to see the measurements in inches and centimeters.

Also, announcing the Spring DVD sale! To say thanks for your past and current support of J-List, we're giving 15% off any four or more DVDs from Japan, with all the DVDs we sell included in the sale. To get the special discount, just add four or more DVDs to your shopping cart. The discount will be applied automatically at checkout. Thanks for helping to make J-List such a success!

For the new update, we've got some excellent products from Japan for you. They include:

• We're big fans of cool things from Japan, and we love the authentic miniature food replicas from Re-Ment. We've gotten stock of two cool miniature food series, Kaiten Zushi (sushi) and the authentic Chinese food of Yokohama's Chinatown district, with full sets available for you!
  
• For fans of Hayao Miyazaki's Totoro, we've got another excellent ceramic music box, super for collectors and very cute, as well as a major restocking of Studio Ghibli plush toys
  
• Also, a really cool item, a deck of high-quality playing cards for fans of Spirited Away
  
• J-List carries various anime and idol trading cards, and we've got the cool new series of You're Under Arrest in stock for you
  
• For Tokyo Mew Mew fans, a new series of chrome gold cloisonne pins (e.g. "pin badge" as they're known in Japanese)
  
• Also, we're big fans of the large-scale pre-painted anime statues that are so popular in Japan -- enjoy a beautiful cold cast figure from Love Hina, in stock now
  
• We've got some great Japanese food and snack items for you, including a deluxe package of Pucca fish-shaped chocolate-filled cookies, and authentic salmon chazuke, delicious food made with green tea that you sprinkle over white rice then eat as a soup -- yum
  
• Also, we've got two great varieties of tea, including tasty oolong tea bags Tochu tea, which absorbs sugar in your system (great for dieting)
  
• We love Japanese swimsuit idols and Race Queens, and have a great photobook for fans of Yui Ichikawa featuring the lovely girl modeling many Japanese high school uniforms in fold-out posters
  
• Also, for fans of Japanese swimsuit idols who want to sample the most beautiful, we've got a superb Hyper Product Revolution, featuring the sexy works of 14 famous idols including Yuko Ogura, Chinatsu Wakatsuki, Megumi, Eiko Koike, Harumi Nemoto, and more (region free)
  
• Look for fresh stock of several popular items by master illustrator Shirow Masamune, including his bilingual Ghost in the Shell manga and Jashin Hunter illustrated Japanese novels
  
• For fans of anime DVD from Japan, we've got the 5th and final DVD for She, the Ultimate Weapon, the popular anime OAV series that's released with full English subtitles (region 2)
  
• We love items with funny English on them, and have some cool pencil cases and other items for you today
  
• We've got a deluxe super-size bento box with included chopsticks, a great item for bento fans with hungry appetites
  
• We carry uncensored hentai anime DVDs in our San Diego office, and have several cool ones in stock for you, including Kamyla, Pure Mail, DNA Hunter and more -- see them all today
  
• We've got fresh stock of several cool sushi and kitchen related items, including Japanese miso soup bowls, sushi making molds and more
  
• Finally, look for cute "Pop Animal" items, more of the three-colored cat Japanese mirrors, fresh stock of the red-hot Hello Kitty block figures, Japanese bento items including cutters that make a sausage into a cute octopus for bento, some great Japanese study items, and more!
  

For our adult customers, we've got many new 18+ products. They include:

• For fans of Japan's popular adult magazines, we've got several nice items for fans of authentic Japanese amateurs, including Magazine Junk and I Want You to Look At Me
  
• Also, for fans of Japan's street kogal erotica, a new issue of Sen Nin Giri
  
• We just love Japan's gorgeous hardcover photobooks, filled with high quality glossy photos -- enjoy yet another red-hot Yuko Ogura item in stock today!
  
• For fans of Japan's beautiful nude photography, we've got a "Chinkame" format pocket sized photobook featuring the lovely Nao Oikawa
  
• For hentai manga fans, we've got some great new books in stock, including a new Excellent series anthology work featuring waitress uniform fetish themes, a superb bondage manga from Apple Comics and the ultimate "Manual of Maid Training" by Hit Comics
  
• We've also got a new comic for Japan's yaoi comic fans, by the talented Kazuna Uchida
  
• Also, for doujinshi fans, we've got a selection of new items for you, including the incredibly talented Galaxy 999 erotica of Q-Bit and cat girl hentai doujinshi
  
• If you love the popular Viper hentai games from Sonya, we've got the new Viper RSR art book back in stock for you
  
• Also, don't miss out on getting Hana Fuda, a supremely illustrated erotic story told in glossy color pages
  
• We've also posted G-Taste Vol. 6 for preorder, for fans of Hiroki Yagami's popular hentai illustrations
  
• For our DVD fans, we've got many great new items for you, starting with the sweet sex of Sora Aoi (whose name means "blue sky"), one of our favorite Japanese "good girl" idols (region free)
  
• Enjoy the bukkake of the Japanese-style beauty Miki Amatsuka in a new release from Soft on Demand (region free)
  
• Also from SOD, the lovely Kokoro Amano experiences her first lesbian sex in a super release featuring man innovative concepts including plastic wrap and filming from below through plexiglass (region free)
  
• We're big fans of Sayaka Tsutsumi's cute face and erotic sexual performance style -- enjoy a super new "gorgeous actress meets semen shower" release from Moodyz, featuring some of her best bukkake work ever (region 2)
  
• From Audaz enjoy the lovely bukkake works of Ami Hinata featuring some of the incredible action that made this company so famous in Japan
  
• Finally, look for various newly restocked DVD titles from Japan's top indies and pro studios!
  

Remember that J-List carries great region free DVD players, with three different models to choose from. Our lowest-priced model, the Sampo DVE-612, is a great buy and we recommend it for anyone wanting to play DVDs from different regions, as well as PAL discs from Europe. Unfortunately the 60 or so units of the DVE-612 we've got in stock are the last we'll be getting, so if you want one of these great players we recommend that you hurry. Also, we're backordered on the OITO small-footprint players and hope to get them in within 2 weeks or so. We've got plenty of the Cyberhome progressive scan player in stock.

Also, we carry all the current varieties of Glico's delicious Pocky chocolate pretzel snack. Unfortunately, summer is a hot and humid time in Japan, and chocolate melts, so we're unable to carry Pocky after May 15 or so. If you want some delicious Japanese Pocky, order it now!

Greetings from J-List March 31, 2003

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Greetings from J-List March 28, 2003

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Funny Engrish quotes from my Japanese students

My Japan Experience: Interesting Quotes from Japan

 
Hi, my name is Peter, and I've lived in Japan for many years, teaching ESL (English as a Second Language) for most of those years, although I now run J-List, a site that sells a wide variety of Japanese pop culture goods. If you're interested in Japan, please stop by!
I've had some excellent interesting students over the years, teaching some really special people. Some of them were extremely expressive, overcoming the rules of English grammer and insufficient knowledge of English vocabulary to describe really advanced ideas. On the other hand, some of the stuff they wrote made really great reading. Throughout my life as an English teacher, I had a silly habit of recording for posterity (?) everything witty my students wrote in their diaries, essays and other assignments.
So, I present the "best of Peter's students," coupled with, at no extra cost, a few "best of things Peter has heard," which I have recorded for you.
These students attended ALEX Foreign Language School, a two-year school which strove to teach students English, and make them hireable in English-related fields, including stewardess. In reality, ALEX was a "suberi-dome" ("stop the downward slide") school, designed to "catch" students who weren't smart enough to get into real universities or junior colleges. It was a nice place, though, and we had some super students. On May 31, 1999, ALEX finally went out of business due to lack of demand for an English school in Gunma, as well as lots of debt.

 
When I first visited in America, I was surprised the wife of America. Everything in America interested me. For example, wide road, houses, beautiful ocean, American people, etc. In Oregon, we could see the beautiful nature. The first day in Oregon we had lunch at the University of Oregon. Lunch was good. But something was strange. The something is sushi. In Japan, there are vegetables and tuna in sushi. But this sushi had avacado and tofu inside. But American foods is good and things is very cheap.

Ayako

 
I'm good at speaking Engish compared to when I was in high school. If I study English hard, I can learn more. So I'll study hard this year. I think ALEX is different from another school. But some students are absent from school and late for school. ALEX students have to take responsibility for their own actions.

Ayako

 
American people don't care about things. For example, they drive broken car. My host family ride a car which has no side mirror. I surprised. Why they don't fix it?

Yuko

 
American people eat sweet food, especially ice cream. They eat dinner, and they are full, but after that they eat ice cream with chocolate too. I can't believe their appetite and their big stomachs.

Yuko
 

Blessed with an abundance of water and greenery, "Maebashi, the city certainly due to the blessings of our tradition of water, greenery and poerty" has given birth and sustinance to a graphical conditions. As a nuclear city in the North Kanto Region, the goal of the 290,000 citizens of Maebashi to rediscover their own city as a "Comprehensive plan for economics and culture for Gunma prefecture." This development is Charm and Activity.

official city pamphlet

 
Before I entered this school, I talked English with my friend. But we didn't speak well. After I entered ALEX, I met Peter. I thought from now on I'll use English. I'm glad to meet to everybody. I think the bad point is myself. I should speak more.

Chiho

 
My first impression of America was very vast country. I went to America last year. And, I went famous places. For example, Los Angeles and Oregon and San Francisco, Disneyland, Universal Studio, etc. July 4th is the day when Americans gives independance, and I went to Oregon College. Oregon was my favorite'

Kazunori

 
When I was a child, I was very fat. I was said "debu*" every day.

Shizue
* "fatso" in Japanese

 
I used to have great respect for women until I came to Japan.

Irish friend Declan

 
When two people agree to an international marriage, they should live in wife's country. This way all will be more easy.

Misako
 

If I could go back in time, I would go to America in 1945 and stop the nuclear bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Many people died and suffered from the A-bomb disease. It was both countries' faults, but Americans shouldn't hurt ordinary people.

Yuko

 
"Men are like chocolates, you just bite them, suck out the cream filling, and then throw them away. The world sees me as a love goddess, but I've never been in love."

the real message printed on the T-shirt of a student of mine, Kazumi Saito

 
America's road is wide, and fares of taxi, bus, airplane etc. are cheap. But America is dangerous. Because U.S. popularize weapons and drugs. But I don't go dangerous place, like slums. I can almost avoid from danger.

Noriko

 
Hell, if it wasn't for the chicks, I would have left Japan years ago, and you can quote me.

friend Chris

 
I like Edward's [Edward Scizorhands] character (his cute behavior). He is very poor. Because his hands are scissors, he injure his dear person. He is a kind person. I wish he gave human hands.

Keiko

 
Interracial marriages are good for all countries. If we mix various faces, it's good, because racial discrimination will be gone. And war may be gone. Tradition of the country is important. But peace is more important.

Sayuri

 
When I went to America I was surprised at there because there is very broad and I surprised by cost. It's very cheap. But steak isn't good taste, and most of sweet food is too sweet. I went to Los Angeles. I'm afraid of there somewhat. I like America.

Keiko

 
When I arrived at San Francisco airport, I surprised there are many Americans around here. I thought American people had a large mind, warm heart and were very kind. But American was fatter than Japanese.

Mieko-chan

 
One day I saw many people around my house. Under the pale moon, we started fighting. Then suddenly, God came, I said "What the fack?" and he said to us, "Hi guys, stop fighting!" We said "FUCK YOU." All of us were killed in a moment.

Koji's story

 
The best moment in my life? When I was a high school student, I was happy. I joined brassband club and was staff (manager) in soft tennis club. There was my boyfriend in soft club. My parents and I hated each other at that time, but I had a very good time. I didn't regret. I want to go back to that time.

Mieko

 
Am I happy with my life? I think I am happy. I can eat a lot of foods every day. Of course I'm satisfied with everything. I want to have much more money, parents who are younger now, much better boyfriend, etc. But it's my selfishness in the end. People who have no dissatisfaction isn't exist.

Megumi

 
I entered ALEX last Spring. At first, I couldn't say my thoughts or things. But now I am used to class. I started speaking English in class more than more. One of the good memories was going to America. Now one year has passed since I came to ALEX. I will do my best in next year.

Mika

 
Sometimes the only thing between you and the abyss is the goodwill of your friends.

friend Max (not Japanese)

 
American porn has bad background music, Japanese porn dosen't. I think we could tell a lot about the difference between the two cultures if we could figure out what that means.

friend Max (again)

 
Not many people go to Antarctica yet because it is under penguin rule.

Hannah

 
"Anyone who plays AD&D and has not read their Tolkien (but has the gall to be full of praise for the DRAGONLANCE novels) should be hung from their toes and fed Ex-Lax."

--from PARACHUTE LIMIT #3, a "zine" some friends and I wrote some years ago called Parachute Limit, before there was such thing as an Internet for us to get attention from.

You can't remember sex. You can remember the fact of it, and recall the setting, and even the details, but the sex of the sex cannot be remembered, the substantive truth of it, it is by nature self-erasing, you can remember its anatomy and be left with a judgment as to the degree of your liking of it, but whatever it is as a splurge of being, there is no memory of it in the brain, only the deduction that it happened and that time passed, leaving you with a silhouette that you want to fill in again.

E. L. Doctorow (b. 1931), U.S. novelist (not Japanese either)

 
I enjoy my life. I have family and many friends, kimono, my own car, and Run. Run is a dog. My grandparents give me many moneys with I had my twenty birthday. I went America for three weeks. I was very enjoyed.

Tomomi

 
 
In SAFEWAY, many kinds of corn flakes about one hundred have overpowered me. I felt a difference of the staple foods. Then Terry (host family's woman) had a Coke of L size. I was really astounded by tremendous size.

Yuko

 
I think Roman Holiday is a sad movie a little, but it is pure and a nice love story, especially I like last scene that reporter and Princess exchange a firm handshake (just the moment!). I think they are poor at that scene but at the same time, they looks positive. I think her smile is really beautiful. Maybe they will not meet again but I think they didn't regret. Because this movie is simple and positive and pure, I like this.

Keiko

 
I can't speak English well, so I will have some problems. The best way to live in the U.S. easily, I think get married to rich handsome American. Then I can have enough money, big house and learn English. I will be life in the U.S. easily.

Sanae

 
I want to got to New York and see the Vampire State Building.

Sanae again

 
I think stereotypical American is tall and has blonde hair, carved face. They lose their temper easily. Americans who live for a long time are bald, and their stomachs stick out.

Kaori

 
I can't stand it when someone smorks in my face.

Yumiko

 
I think the best part of the U.S.A. is, they have a high regard for individuality. So American children can display their personality. Japanese teachers always want children to be the same. But America is more free. They don't have school uniforms and strict, strange rules.

Tomoko

 
When I was in high school, my favorite subject was English because my English teacher was a young, beautiful, tasty hot woman, that's why.

Tomo

 
I think Americans, especially politicians, think that Japanese are yellow rich monkeys and not kind people. Country is rich but people are not rich. I don't want them to think that. I think Japan is hated by other country.

Sanae

 
I think the greatest Japanese who ever lived was Ultraman. When I was a child, I watched him every day. He was a hero to me. Whenever there was a dinosaur, Ultraman killed him for the world.

Koji

 
What was good about this year? I had funny friend, I had selfish friend, I had nice friend, etc. So I had really good time for a year. Especially when I went to America, I had happy memories.

Keiko

 
Women don't have the ability on average. If someone say to woman, "bring the desk," women can't bring it. But in family, women have to be more aggressive. Because weak mother will spoil children.

Yoshinori

 
Men think women are weak, but I think sometimes men are weak. This has nothing to do with woman and man. We should live to be happy, and live to not regret. I think it's ideal if women are weak and men are aggressive.

Mieko
 

So you want to teach English in Japan?

Okay, here we go with

Peter's Generic Information
on Teaching in Japan

Wherein the author give some slightly cynical
information for would-be ESL teachers in Japan

version 2.85
Updated Aug 2004

What's that? Out of college, but can't get a job? In a rut, and looking for a change? Wife just left you, and your life is in a shambles? Want to watch anime every day on TV for free? Well, my friend, why don't you come sell your native language in Japan?

Yes, you, too, can join the thousands of people who come to Japan to teach English as a Second Language (known to us teacher-types as "ESL"). All you (really) need is to speak English natively, have a University degree, and the earnest desire to do right by your Japanese hosts for the time you here.

Before starting J-List, I taught at various schools here in Japan, and I have found a great deal of fulfillment with my former career. I have met young, energetic Japanese with a real desire to learn about my home country of America, who remind me a lot of how I feel about Japan. I would recommend a short stint teaching in Japan (or in Asia in general) to anyone -- if they understand what they are getting themselves into and prepare themselves beforehand.

On the other hand, the golden age of ESL teaching is past. To paraphrase Princess Leia slightly, if money is all that you love, try for Saudi Arabia instead. Japan's birth rate is among the lowest in the industrialized world; there is actually a "famine" of students for schools that is only going to get worse; coupled with Japanese not spending money as they did in the age of the bubble economy and the increase in foreigners wanting to work over here, and you've got a formula for a competitive job market. The salaries are lower and the good jobs are harder to get than they have ever been. Since the first version of this document was put out on the Internet back in 1995, the economy has really taken a tumbling, and everything is more competitive than it was. Remember, too, that "taught English for three years in Japan" on your resume carries about as much weight in the eyes of a potential (non-teaching-related) employer as house-sitting. If you still want to try, I will tell you what I know.

The Jobs

The first group would have to be the eikaiwa [English conversation] chains: Geos, Aeon [pronounced Eon, trust me], Nova, and ECC. These schools recruit in North America frequently and will take anyone with a college degree who seems like they won't freak out at the first sign of toilets with no seat or squid on pizza. (You think I'm kidding about the squid, don't you?)

In the past, I've stated that I didn't like these English conversation school chains for various reasons, including, but not limited to, a) the lack of professional awareness of one's self as an educator, b) the lack of vacation time, and a potential high number of "on" hours (teaching up to seven hours of your workday, with only an hour for preparation), and c) overall, I think the chance that you'll have a bad "Japan Experience" is higher than at some other types of teaching jobs. Over time, I've come to reconsider some of my bad feelings about the schools. Sure, they are commodity operations, and if you work at one of them the manager of your school will do his best to fill your hours with productive (for him) teaching hours, and by and large, these schools do have a high teacher turnover rate. But still, the fact remains that Eikaiwa chain teaching jobs might be the only job available to you if you have no training, experience or connections; and working for a year at one of the chain schools is potentially a good way to get some experience while you learn about Japan. Expect to make around 260,000 yen per month, a little more in Tokyo; extras, such as airfare, apartment "key money" and a "completion of contract bonus" are occasionally available, too.

If you scratched your head at my yen quote above and said, "Hey, put that in dollars, man," I have to ask what you do know about Japan, and why you think you belong here in the first place. If you're going to have a problem with using kilometers and kilograms and expect everything to be easy for you, you might be better off staying home.

Ahem. Sorry, got carried away there.

A second choice are one of the many private English schools, or juku [cram] schools which also have eikaiwa as part of their teaching programs. I tend to recommend these types of schools because, based on my own experience, you will have a more personal experience with a group of people who (hopefully) treat English education as something that's important for Japan's future, and not just a financial thing. Salary should be comparable to the chain schools. There are good and bad eikaiwa schools out there, and some people who run such schools have no business taking a foreigners Japan Experience into their own hands. They either have a zillion misconceptions about foreigners, think they're spoiled pampered whiners (warning: they usually are), and generally don't have the patience to deal the problems you'll face. Be sure and check the Internet for resources -- I recommend Ohayo Sensei and this page for starters, but keep in mind that I stopped teaching in 1996 so I'm not up to speed on what' sout there.

A third choice, and a good one for many, is the JET [Japan English Teachers] program, which has been called an engine for income redistribution from Japan to the U.S., to make up for everything Japan did during the 80s (the guy who said that is even more cynical than me). There are two jobs in the JET program: AETs (Assistant English Teachers), who teach at either junior high or high schools (sometimes several different schools, a different one each day); and CIRs, Coordinators for International Relations, who act as a bridge of communication between the AETs and perform other valuable functions in Japanese city- and prefecture-level governments.

JET jobs pay the highest of the "sit around and jack off" English teaching jobs: 300,000 yen a month, usually with some kind of bonus at the end, and sometimes decent (5-weeks in summer, paid) vacation. I say sometimes because each JET school is different -- you can end up with a "Japanese and Americans should be treated the same, so you get no special treatment from me" hard ass who'll enforce your contract religiously, or maybe not. The maximum you can ride on the JET train is three years. If you think this the job for you, bear in mind you will likely be reading out of a textbook for forty-five bored thirteen-year-olds who don't give a damn about you for 15-20 hours a week and being bored the other 20 (or, like me, roaming the Internet off-line, if you have a Powerbook). Personally, I think you can find more stimulating ways to spend time in Japan.

CIRs, who aren't teachers but program facilitators, must have a minimum of two years of Japanese study, preferably three. CIRs get 20 days off per year, plus holidays. You work in a Japanese-style office, wear a tie, speak Japanese all day and will perform valuable services for people. You avoid the "taught English" label at the top of your resume, and will be somewhat respected for your position by others -- you are, after all, an important bridge between your local city government and the foreign community. Needless to say, this is the job you should consider if you have a deeper interest in Japan and its language. It's more work with the same pay as AETs, but you will thrive in a massively interesting and challenging job, using Japanese and making your face wider (er, it's a Japanese expression that means that a lot of people will know your name). I had the honor of being a CIR for five months after the girl who had been here before me bugged out and left early, and it was a very interesting, enjoyable time for me.

Unless you happen to be over the recently-revised age limit of 40 (it used to be 30 back when I was teaching), JET is a good way to come here. The only people I would recommend against applying for it are persons especially interested in studying Japanese. There is a tendency for JET gaijins to make friends in their own groups, to feed negative feelings about Japan to each other, and to create a mini-society where they try to keep Japanese influence out as much as possible. Makes me want to slap them silly.

It has occurred to me that I haven't covered part-time teaching possibilities as well as I could have. For many people, part-time teaching is a great way to pick up extra income and have a variety of teaching experiences. Plusses are that you can potentially make more money than a full time job; minuses include the lack of any kind of visa sponsorship, and the potential for burn-out, as you have to teach more and more to make ends meet. You can find teaching jobs for 2500-4000 an hour, occasionally more.

The last two categories of teaching jobs-company and university/junior college jobs-are the ones I personally know the least about. If working thirty hours a week teaching English to engineers at Subaru or Daihatsu sounds appealing for you, give it a whirl: you'll probably learn a lot about auto chaises and aluminum alloys, but some of those guys are cool. University/Junior College jobs are the hands-down best you can hope for, but the requirements for these jobs are so stringent, and the competition so tough, as to be out of the scope of this article. I will state, however, that Japan is currently engaged in a dangerous game when it comes to universities. Despite the fact that the population of students is declining every year, more and more universities are being built, to the tune of 20 or so a year. This means that there might be opportunity for qualified foreigners wanting to work at universities in the short term; however there is likely to be a big academic crash on the horizon for Japan.

How to get the jobs

The hands-down best way to get a job in Japan is to know someone who can shoukai (introduce) you into a position. This is called kone (pronounced koh-NE, there is no silent 'e' in Japanese), or connections, and this is the way to find employment here. I got my first job by taking over a college friend's job when he was leaving Japan (to get away from his marriage-minded Japanese girlfriend). Ways you can hop on the kone train include coming to Japan to do homestay or having Japanese students come to your house, asking college professors for help, or finding out where your hometown's sister city is in Japan. My hometown of San Diego is sister cities with Yokohama, and there are many educational and work-exchange programs available between the two. (On three separate occasions, I've run into people I studied Japanese with at SDSU in Yokohama, which is a pretty major coincidence, if you consider the population of the city, and the fact that I don't live near there at all.)

Find a good library that stocks The Japan Times, and read through the Monday editions. They are just bursting with jobs, organized neatly into categories for "women only" and "men or women" and with age limits posted clearly, where applicable [flash! as of April 1999, you're not allowed to do this anymore...maybe they read this article...]. Know that any given ad posted in the Japan Times can get one hundred or so responses, and some of those are by PhDs and other massively overqualified (or at least overeducated) people. Some people can break themselves trying to get jobs this way, but it an option available to you.

For JET jobs, call your nearest Japanese Consulate or Embassy. The application period is from October to December, so plan ahead. See the Internet. Remember to search Google and read lots of information -- if you join a mailing list, be polite and lurk for a while before blurting out all your questions.

The last way to get a job is to just come here. Americans and Canadians automatically get a three-month tourist visa, so you can use that time to look for work. (Canadians and Australians/New Zealanders have one other option open to them, called Working Holiday. Look into it.) You'll have to leave the country again to get your working visa, but it's a great excuse to do some shopping in Korea and have some good Kimcheege.

A word about courtesy

I recently had a bad experience with the wife of a foreigner I knew, let's call her Valerie. She came to Japan with her husband, and asked me for advice on contracts in Japan. Now, in Japan, a contract is not viewed with the same strictness as it is in the U.S. In other words, even if you have a one-year contract with a company, you can still quit, and they can still fire you -- it's just the way it works here. I told her this, and unfortunately she took it a little too seriously. She signed one contract, then, finding a better job, told the first school she was not going to work there -- and incredibly, she told them that the reason was "because she'd gotten a better offer." (This caused myself and other "lifer" foreigners to groan, and mutter "fucking gaijin"). She then had to other contract-related problems with two other schools in close succession, quitting both jobs soon after starting them. She's now in Tokyo. Throughout all this, she was not wrong at all (to hear her tell it), and in fact, she was the victim of this thing or that which she didn't like about the schools (when you live in Japan long enough, you see that North Americans are somewhat quick to assume the role of victims -- this phenomenon is called higaisha mousou in Japanese, in case you want to know). Clearly, however, there were problems with her approach to and attitude about working in Japan.

Now, what this person did wrong was not breaking a contract, per se. What she did was cause meiwaku (inconvenience) to the Japanese people who put their trust in her, and this was very bad. She thought only of herself, and what she could "get" out of Japan, not what she could do for the schools or students she would be working with. One of the schools had even let their other teacher go to hire her, and was really put out. The view of all foreigners was hurt by this person, and we all felt embarrassed.

So my point is this: if there's a "golden rule" to living in Japan, it is that you should not inconvenience other people -- don't cause meiwaku. If you think that this idea makes sense to you, then please continue with your plans to live in Japan. If you have some kind of "Japan bombed Pearl Harbor, therefore I'm owed a good job by them" kind of attitude, please don't bother. Really.

On Higher Education

I get a lot of feedback from this page from people who want to work in Japan but haven't graduated from a four year university. The short answer is that in order to even get a working visa for Japan, you need to have graduated from a university. There are exceptions -- if you're married to a Japanese, you automatically get a marriage spousal visa, for example. However, I advise anyone who is serious about coming to Japan but who hasn't been to college to think long on hard about completing your education before you do anything. When I look back at my life, virtually everything good that I've been able to achieve was a direct result of having spent four very interesting years at SDSU. If you're a young person wondering how you can come to Japan some day, by all means plan on going to a challenging and interesting 4-year university first -- the rest will come to you easily then.

Last Advice

To work here for a year or two just to "soak up the country," a BA and some luck will get you by; but for anyone thinking seriously about ESL education as a longer-term thing, I recommend that you prepare yourself. To be competitive for the better teaching jobs, a Masters' in TESL (teaching ESL) is recommended; at the very least, take a year to get a "theory and practice of teaching ESL" certificate (which includes practice teaching) like I did, or a minor in linguistics, which I also did. It will definitely give you an edge, and getting that one job pays for the extra effort to get the certificate.

Be careful: I don't recommend anyone go get a Masters' in TESL unless you are serious about the field. Overqualification is a big problem in this line of work, and getting too qualified can hurt you more than it helps, amazing as it may seem. I have met PhD's who made less than me (I have a BA), and had a harder time finding jobs because of their advanced degree.

If you're serious about coming here, there are a zillion things you have to know ahead of time, such as key money (you have to pay up to six times your rent up front when you move in, unless your school will cover it for you), phone line ($600 to put in a phone line, but you can sell your 'bond' later for most of your money back), working visa stuff, and so on, and to be honest, I don't have time to tell everyone everything. See what books and/or online information sources are available to you, or ask people who are teaching now for help.

Japan is an easy place to live in that you will be safe, you will find friendly people, and you will probably be able to find work if you stick with it and have a good attitude and try to make yourself teacher-worthy, but there are some bad things, too. Many foreigners can't hack being in a strange environment, and leave after a year, especially women, who have to put up with more crap than some of us men (a friend of mine left after being groped in a train). If you have no experience living overseas, take special care when making plans to come here -- you will be in for many subtle shocks, such as beer vending machines, old men urinating out of doors, pillows with hard plastic things in them, Japanese stores closing in the middle of the week seemingly just to make you mad, and cynical 'lifer' gaijin like me who have little patience for teaching you how to hold chopsticks and explaining what 'daijobu' means, since you're going to be out of here in a year anyway.

That's my generic teaching info. Hope you can put it to good use.

Kimagure Orange Road novel translations

In addition to doing many useless things with my life, I have translated the first two Kimagure Orange Road novels. This is a great show that has turned out to be quite a cult with American otaku-zoku. You can find the first novel here and the second translation here.
Update! Last I checked, there was a third novel. Unfortunately it won't be translated by me, but if anyone else translate it send me the link and I'll post it here.
Update! There's an Italian translation based on my translation. See the link here.

Update! There's a French translation, posted here! Thanks to the translators!
Update! There's a Spanish translation of my English translations of the above. Check out the link here.
Update! There's a Chinese translation of the first KOR novel. Check out the link here.
Update! There's a French translation of the first KOR novel that's being posted to this site. Watch for more parts of the translation as they're done by the translator.
Update! There's a translation of the third KOR novel, right here. That's excellent, way to go Chris!

My Otaku Reconsideration

My Otaku Reconsideration

Portrait of an Otaky #1187

by Peter R. Payne

Note: the following is an article I wrote way back in 1994 for an anime magazine. I consider it quite out of date, but I submit it for your review anyway. Feedback is always welcome.

Italian pop writer and musician Frankie Bit defines the otaku as, "...the avant-garde exploring the digital world dominated by new technologies, communicating to excess...[We] grew up with television and electronic media, and now use them as [our] natural habitat where every desire can be gratified."

In Japanese, otaku, which is a polite word for "you" or "your family," now refers to a social class of obsessive, self-absorbed youths and would-be youths who fixate on pop culture icons and live for whatever rush they (we) get from that fixation. Idols, animation, comics (*manga*), adult video actresses: there is no limit to what can be otakified.

The movement came into its own in 1989 when Tsutomu Miyazaki was arrested for a killing spree in which four young girls lost their lives over an eleven-month period. He was considered an otaku due to the large collection of softcore Japanese animation films that were found in his apartment (over six thousand videos), and the label was stuck forever. (Amends Bit, "...but he was not a real Otaku because he spent too much time outside his house.")

There are a few core genres of otakus (also called *otaku-zoku* "the otaku race" or simply *the otaky*). The comics & animation category includes everyone from the kid who still collects Dragonball comics religiously even though he turned thirty last August to the spokesmen for all otakus everywhere, the Japanese otaku/TV idol Taku Hachiro. Monster movie otakus can name the directors of all 22 Godzilla films and are honorary members of the U.N. Anti-Godzilla Force. People who never gave up on Star Wars even during the dark years of the late Eighties are the SF otakus. Military otakus are out there, but you can't see them -- they're watching you right now with night-vision goggles. Then there are adult video otakus. I'll bet the names Ai Iijima and Yuki Hitomi mean little to you, but there's a secret fraternity of people reading this whose eyes just wavered with recognition.

These are not the only otaku types in Japan. There are Disneyland otakus, UFO catcher otakus (you know, those games where you grab the stuffed animal -- I've been in Japan too long to know what they're called in real English), ski otakus, ski-gear otakus who don't ski but who love to put the best ski equipment on their 4x4, and so on. I'm sure you get the idea.

I am a cross-over otaku, a common-enough breed in these confused times. I am into animation, manga, and various idols. I translated a 200+ page Orange Road novel into English because, well, no one else was going to do it. I am an avid Macintosh user, but a computer and an Internet connection among my ilk are like a mask and snorkel to scuba enthusiasts -- they're just the tools that make it all possible, and don't really count.

I awoke as an otaku at the end of high school, one day realizing that everything that I had ever done in my life -- watching Speed Racer and Star Blazers, etc. -- all had to do with Japan. Four years of college later, I came to Japan to make my name as a teacher of English as a foreign language.

I arrived in October of 1992, just in time to see the leaves turn red throughout the country. That's one thing I hadn't been expecting to see before I came here: a country full of nature, full of great big trees, that explode with color in Spring and Fall. Other things I didn't expect to see were old men, urininating freely outdoors, beer vending machines, or, well, *all that nudity*.

I live in Gunma prefecture, right smack in the center of the main Japanese island of Honshu. Gunma's population hit the two million mark in 1994 -- so Coca Cola printed "Congratulations Two Million Gunma" on all cans sold in the prefecture. It's famous for strong wind in the winter, strong women all the time, and a jelly-like boiled potato substance called *konnyaku* that is famous for gaijin not being able to eat it.

While I am an otaku, I am different from a lot of otakus in that I pursued my reverence for the country to the point of studying Japanese for eight years, and actually coming the country to live. Since one of the characteristics of otakus is that we consider ourselves one of the few "true" otakus remaining, I am in a position to look down the noses of other, lesser, otakus as being mere Japanophiles. This is what I base my sense of self-worth on.

I think I was pre-determined to be what I am. My grandmother had an extreme personality: she was a civil rights otaku before anyone else. My sister inherited my grandmother's extremeness of personality in the form of religion. Practical one that I am, I got an obsession with Japan.

I know many other otakus in Japan, both gaijin and Japanese. "Leon" got interested in Japan like me, over the course of several years, without actually realizing it until he got to college and studied some Japanese. He came to Japan in 1992 as an English teacher, but managed to climb out of the black pit of teaching English conversation and land a job translating and doing some technical writing with a company in Harajuku, Tokyo. His favorite thing in the world is the world of Japanese adult video idols -- he has a huge collection -- and he has never forgiven me for meeting Yuki Hitomi (the idol who wears the apron and nothing else on channel 12's late-night sex show "Gilgamesh Night") at a CD ROM exposition without him.

"Hiroshi" was a student of mine. We found out one day that we had similar interests a few days after Sailor Moon "R" (the second series) ended. He mentioned his favorite TV show had aired its last episode, I knew what he was talking about, and we were instant brothers. Hiroshi's main otaku "thang" was games for Nintendo's Super Famicom, but he has recently upgraded to a Sony Playstation, which allows him to enjoy newest Mobile Suit Gundam fighting simulator. Lucky geek.

Finally, there is "Mark," who was converted by watching subtitled Japanese cartoons the rest of us never got a chance to see living in Hawaii. He got a chance to live his dream in Japan, translating anime for a major company involved in bringing anime to the masses in the U.S. He uses the income from this to feed the runaway fire that is his Japan fetish, buying laser disc boxed sets of such old series as *Giant Robo*, *Science Ninja Team Gatchaman* and *Lupin III* as he continues his search for the perfect collection.

This is what we are -- a subset of Generation X, the Otaku. Not really a "nineties" thing, but this is when we chose to let our presence be known. Not really a Japan-only thing, but we naturally turn to Japan as the mother-protector of what we are. Not dangerous, except in the most unthinkably extreme cases. Not losers -- just not afraid to glorify the mundane and accept the positive images that are fed to us so willingly by society. We are the masters of our universes, we otaku, and more in touch with our inner selves than most people you can name. If we're anti-social, it's your own fault for pulling all that crap on us back in high school.

You've Been in Japan Too Long When... (page 4 of 4)

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